...this just popped up on my Facebook feed (credit given at end):
Sunday, February 9, 2025
Just wanted to share this..
More ramblings...
I told my mom I would try to write more often, so here I am again. But what to write about?
My birthday party is tomorrow. Chloe says I need to stop micromanaging and let her take charge, and she's right, of course. It's just hard to stop! :) But my mom paid for the few extra decorations we picked up at Dollar Tree, at least, and I turned them over to Chloe. She's getting my cake tomorrow at 4 p.m. and then going to the bar to set up, so I don't even need to be there until 6 p.m. for my usual karaoke setup. I told Brian to be there around 6-6:30. I'm hoping for a good turnout. We'll see.
Thn on Thursday I turn 55. That's a lot of years. When did that happen? What more is to come? Who knows, I'm just trying to survive. Enjoy the today, because who knows how many are left. I'll probably look back on this in 20 years and go, wow, that was quick. So I try to enjoy today.
Today, Chloe and Daniel are in the dining room making art. I have the Simpsons on in the background as I type this, and Dory is sleeping on my bed. Willow is in Chloe's room on the heating pad. We have rooms. We have a roof over our head. But every day I worry about how much longer that will be the case. Every day I worry about paying my mom back all the money she's spent on me since I got sick. Every day is just survival until the next. The USA empire is crashing, thanks to a party that's doing it's best to be the next Third Reich. Germany fell and so will we. But Germany rebuilt. The world rebuilt. And put that away until it reared it's ugly head on our shores. It's like the freedom my grandfather and so many others fought for was for naught. But not, for sane minds will eventually prevail. I hope.
Ok enough ranting and rambling for tonight. I wrote. Now I just need to get better.
Wednesday, February 5, 2025
I need to write more.
Like it will help somehow, I don't know. Writer's block is a real thing.
I could write about....living with stage 5 kidney disease. I'm not that wrapped up in it though, I'm just trying to survive it. What does that look like,, you ask? Well, going to dialysis 3 times a week for four hours each time. So, time-consuming. Watching my labs. Watching what I eat and drink (no more than 2 kilos fluid gain between dialysis visits! Who am I kidding, I put on 4 over the weekend, ugh) because the more fluid I gain, the harder it is on my heart. My mom thinks my kidney issues could be stress-related, cortisol, and all that. I don't know, maybe. So now I have to try and have less stress? In this time, in this fucking country? Not bloody likely. Money, it always comes down to money with my stress, though. I was doing so well, pulling down 38k a year before my kidney failure...and then they let me go because they didn't wanna work with my dialysis schedule? And I thought they valued me. Big mistake on my part, apparently. Yes, I am still pissed about that.
Dr. Urbanc said I was medically interesting, which is not something one should be. Let's see, cancer survivor, and kidney failure survivor, still have sleep apnea, and thyroid issues, not to mention arthritis in my hips making it hard to walk very long, arthritis in my knees, and my left shoulder (where I broke it), what else..? High blood pressure, of course. At least my type 2 diabetes is well managed by my Trulicty scrip. Then there's depression, anxiety, OCD, and possibly a touch of ADD, not sure on that one, not officially diagnosed, but it wouldn't surprise me.
What else can I write about? I'm having a great time being a karaoke host once a week, and tips usually provide me with some spending money, which is nice. My volunteer gig with VAS, well, I've moved up to Acting Secretary, which could eventually be a paid position once we start getting grants and fundraising money. Between those things and dialysis, my life is pretty busy. Today was a blah day though. I did manage to go to my mammogram appointment and do a little grocery shopping but have lacked the motivation to do much else, and I guess it's ok to have those days once in a while, especially given my situation. But what to make for dinner? The neverending question of adult life, lol.
Speaking of adult life, I turn 55 next week. My birthday party will be on the 10th at karaoke at the bar, but I think it's going to be fun. Brian, my backup KJ (and former drummer of Sweaty Nipples and for a short time, Everclear) will be there to run things so I can mingle. Then on the 13th, my mom is making me a nice dinner <3. And I will officially be a senior, HA. Not ha. Idk. Hopefully, I can start drawing on SS (not just disability) and make enough to live on, I guess my cousin gets about 4 grand a month. I could live well on that. Until inflation makes it hard again.
Ok enough rambling, my tummy is growling and I still need to figure out what to make for dinner.
Just wanted to share this..
...this just popped up on my Facebook feed (credit given at end): In 1923 Adolf Hitler incited an insurrection against the German governmen...
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