Like it will help somehow, I don't know. Writer's block is a real thing.
I could write about....living with stage 5 kidney disease. I'm not that wrapped up in it though, I'm just trying to survive it. What does that look like,, you ask? Well, going to dialysis 3 times a week for four hours each time. So, time-consuming. Watching my labs. Watching what I eat and drink (no more than 2 kilos fluid gain between dialysis visits! Who am I kidding, I put on 4 over the weekend, ugh) because the more fluid I gain, the harder it is on my heart. My mom thinks my kidney issues could be stress-related, cortisol, and all that. I don't know, maybe. So now I have to try and have less stress? In this time, in this fucking country? Not bloody likely. Money, it always comes down to money with my stress, though. I was doing so well, pulling down 38k a year before my kidney failure...and then they let me go because they didn't wanna work with my dialysis schedule? And I thought they valued me. Big mistake on my part, apparently. Yes, I am still pissed about that.
Dr. Urbanc said I was medically interesting, which is not something one should be. Let's see, cancer survivor, and kidney failure survivor, still have sleep apnea, and thyroid issues, not to mention arthritis in my hips making it hard to walk very long, arthritis in my knees, and my left shoulder (where I broke it), what else..? High blood pressure, of course. At least my type 2 diabetes is well managed by my Trulicty scrip. Then there's depression, anxiety, OCD, and possibly a touch of ADD, not sure on that one, not officially diagnosed, but it wouldn't surprise me.
What else can I write about? I'm having a great time being a karaoke host once a week, and tips usually provide me with some spending money, which is nice. My volunteer gig with VAS, well, I've moved up to Acting Secretary, which could eventually be a paid position once we start getting grants and fundraising money. Between those things and dialysis, my life is pretty busy. Today was a blah day though. I did manage to go to my mammogram appointment and do a little grocery shopping but have lacked the motivation to do much else, and I guess it's ok to have those days once in a while, especially given my situation. But what to make for dinner? The neverending question of adult life, lol.
Speaking of adult life, I turn 55 next week. My birthday party will be on the 10th at karaoke at the bar, but I think it's going to be fun. Brian, my backup KJ (and former drummer of Sweaty Nipples and for a short time, Everclear) will be there to run things so I can mingle. Then on the 13th, my mom is making me a nice dinner <3. And I will officially be a senior, HA. Not ha. Idk. Hopefully, I can start drawing on SS (not just disability) and make enough to live on, I guess my cousin gets about 4 grand a month. I could live well on that. Until inflation makes it hard again.
Ok enough rambling, my tummy is growling and I still need to figure out what to make for dinner.
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