Xmas was nice, went to the Seattle area to see my brothers, managed a 3-day trip with some dialysis finagling. It was good to be with family, although the rest of my family (Chloe and kitties) stayed home. We did our own Xmas Day when I got back, French toast, bacon, and all. :)
Now it's New Year's Eve, and I have no idea what I'm doing tonight. Chloe is mad at me because I had 2 cocktails at karaoke (at least I didn't lie, and I blew a 0.00 on my new breathalyzer before I left the bar).. but she's pissed, and I don't know how to fix it, so I'm following her lead. Which, so far, is to just act like I don't exist. Which puts a damper on the evening plans. I could just go to the drone show with Tabby and friends, but I don't want to leave Chloe to go hang out with her friends. I could go to the Snug, but then we'd have the same alcohol fight again. We also talked about bingeing all of Season 5 of Stranger Things, but that would involve her talking to me, which doesn't seem like she's ready to do. I understand that she doesn't want alcohol in her life, but if I blow 0.00 before I leave the bar, it's really not. Plus, my time in treatment taught me a lot that I think will help prevent my drinking from being "just like last time". But she isn't willing to even give me a chance. Her prerogative, I guess. I'm just sad she refuses to trust me.
And I'm tired of being controlled all the time. Sometimes, sure. Some things, sure. But the level of control she tries to take is just too much. And other people bring it up to me, and I defend her, even if I don't necessarily agree with her.
Moving on... Plans for 2026: save some money with the help of HRSN, quit smoking, and lose enough weight to qualify for the kidney transplant list. I'll revisit this at the end of 2026 and see if I've accomplished those things. Not a huge list. I guess I should add stay friends with Chloe, regardless of whether she moves out or not (yes, she's threatening to again), and finish the droid project. We need a programmer, though.
Ok, I wrote. See you next year!
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