...but happy heavenly birthday, Annie. I miss you so much. Sure, we drove each other crazy, but it was OUR crazy, you know? You left this earth much too young. I thought we'd be little old ladies together.
The grief never goes away. I still want to scream out to the universe, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" and "WHY HER? WHY THEN?"...Because it's not fair. She was my baby sister.
My mom told me today that I better not die anytime soon, because losing me too would kill her. I told her I have no plans to do that, and fight every day to avoid it. Grim Reaper comes for me, he gets punched in the nose. :) If he has a nose. Whatever, I'll keep punching til I connect to something lol.
I try not to think about my own mortality much, like if I ignore it, it won't happen. Haha. Yeah I know thats not true, so I just keep fighting kidney disease and taking care of my heart. Which includes NOT falling in love again. I don't know if I could handle yet another guy ghosting me. Over it. I got me, I got my family, I got Chloe and the kitties. I don't need much else, other than the basics (roof over my head, heat, electric, phone, internet, etc etc).
I feel like I should write more about Annie, but every word justr makes it hurt more. I think I'm done for now. I love and miss you Annie, and wish you were still here.
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