I know it sounds, well, ridiculous, but tonight's episode of Riverdale turned me into a big bawling baby. It was a musical episode (of course, lol). There was this song called 17.. basically about being a normal 17 year old, which on Riverdale, none of them are. For one, none of the actors are even teenagers, but also, none of their characters are remotely "normal" 17 year olds. And I started thinking about myself at 17. And how much I related to NOT being a "normal" 17 year old. I was living with my "fiance", in my family's apartment in Hawaii. He was cheating on me with my best friend. I basically had a nervous breakdown. Dropped out of high school. That wasn't supposed to be me, I was smart, I was going places. But I got sidelined by fucking teen angst. Not that I am blaming him, or her. I mean shit, they're still together to this day. They were obviously meant to be. I blame myself. I wish I could have just let it all go and focused on myself, concentrated on MY future. But I was a fucking dumbass. Why couldn't I have just been "normal"?
Which leads me back to me. I went into radio. Because I really, really wanted it. But the pay sucked, and I lacked motivation. Still. Now I'm 49. I want to do voice over work. I pin pins on Pinterest about it. I relish the chance to do an overhead at Freddy's because I KNOW my voice sounds professional. But my dentures make me self conscious. I feel like I lisp. Even though people still always comment about my professional sounding voice. I think I just need to get the fuck over myself and GET IT DONE.
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