ARGH.. FRICKIN INSOMNIA..

I am starting to notice a trend... whenever I am stressed or worried (so pretty much always), I have wicked insomnia. Its like my brain won't shut the fuck up and let me sleep. I have an important appointment tomorrow at the IRS at 1215pm. It is 340am and I have been trying to fall asleep for almost 4 hours. Wtf. I think I need to talk to my doc about this. I did notice that when my dentist gave me Valium (diazepam) to take the night before my dentist appointment, I fell asleep quickly and slept great, and woke up on time. I wonder if this is the answer to anxiety related insomnia. I've tried just about everything else.. :(  

Well that didn't last long...

 I got to work a whole week and a half(?) at Party City before they let me go. Jared said that they weren't making enough revenue due to COVID and now the wildfires to be able to afford me. I should have just gone back to Spirit. :(  And, that makes the third job in, what, 5 years? that let me go because they couldn't afford me. I don't know wtf I'm going to do. Hopefully my taxes will show up soon, but it has officially been "six weeks after Aug 1st" and still nothing. 

I wish I had enough money and enough job contacts, and enough confidence in my writing, to just get my RV Life on the road already. I am so completely fed up with the job market. And with working jobs I dislike just so I can have a paycheck. Not that I disliked Party City. Jared was great, most of my coworkers were awesome, but it was a lot more physical than I anticipated. I was beginning to get used to it though when they cut me loose. I feel like I'm doomed to be out of shape, miserable, and broke forever.

NOT the attitude I want to have. I keep looking for that, "Fuck this! I can do anything I set my mind to! Fuck diabetes! I'll reverse it! Fuck being fat! I'll lose 70 pounds! I've got a great voice! Let's get those voice jobs! Oh hey, here's my first audiobook!" and I can't seem to locate it again. 

By the way, here's a link to the audiobook.

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Ghost-Diary-Audiobook/B08BPHFYFP?qid=1600214748&sr=1-6&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_6&pf_rd_p=e81b7c27-6880-467a-b5a7-13cef5d729fe&pf_rd_r=JTZ64J9HNNXRS8GVTB9G

Currently on hold with the IRS for...47 minutes. I need that damn money.