Some days are great, then there is this moment of suck..

I had a great time doing several voices for an audiobook yesterday, got paid at the end (with royalties to come, hopefully), super awesome. Had Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner and caught up on some more episodes of Black Lightning to prepare for the Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover event coming on the CW. Then I went to bed. Dreamt of Shane. I woke up sad.
I wish things had worked out differently for us. I wish he hadn't died, especially before we got a chance to end our not speaking to each other thing, whatever the hell that was. I will allow myself a few moments to grieve again, but then I must move forward, hoping that wherever he is now, he is at peace. Maybe our tragic story will inspire my writing someday. Not yet though. Too soon still.
I could write a story of what could have been, maybe. Or just write it as it was, maybe gain perspective of where things went wrong. Idk.
BUT. I do need to write something, a short story, something. I'm worried that I've forgotten how. I think I need to become a reader again. I seemed more inspired to write when I read all the time.
My mom said she thinks I'm one of the best writers she has ever known. To have your hero say something like that...but. She's my mom. Of course she's going to say that. :) She's never been one to bullshit me though, so there's that.
I'm really looking forward to hearing the final audiobook when he's done editing it. Plus he said I could use a sample on my voice profiles. Then I need to get more work! If I could make this my career...no more dead-end jobs YAY!! No more thankless retail jobs on my feet all day that damage my physical and mental well being, YAY!
And as I typed that, the Superman theme song came on the classical station that I listen to. Epic. LOL.

OMG!!

I just booked my first voice gig! Doing voices for an audiobook. The writer is someone I know peripherally from the electronic music scene, and if this project is successful, he is planning on starting an audiobook production company and will want me for even more work! WOOOT!!
I am so freaking excited right now!! Did I mention it's a paying gig? Whheee!! We start on Friday. Will update more soon!!

On my way!!

My voice demo is done! Vicky Mazzone, an old friend from my KPSU days, produced it for me, she's amazing! I would post it, but it has my phone number in it, and this blog is a little too public for that. BUT. A step closer to my RV life goals!
In health news, I apparently have plantar fasciitis, as well as a BONE SPUR in my heel. So no more retail jobs where I am on my feet all day. And my Spirit bonus next month is DEFINITELY going towards a car. Time for a desk job and a gym membership. On the plus side, my A1C actually IMPROVED since my last test, which leads me to believe that the crappy Kroger monitor was, in fact, the issue. Since I'm back on OHP, I am back to my nicer, more accurate monitor. The strips for it are INSANELY expensive, so I had to use the cheaper Kroger one when I had no insurance.
Thanksgiving will be interesting, either Chloe and I are going to Annie's and we're getting Chinese, or Annie and Brandon are coming here and I'm going to cook. (Annie's oven is broken) I really wish food stamps gave you like a supplemental bonus in the middle of November. We'll figure it out. If I had a car I'd go get a food box.
Not working is already making me stir crazy. Not just because of the lack of funds, but because although I now have the free time to work on other projects, I'm having trouble MOTIVATING myself to do them. For example, I've been working on this one blog entry for THREE DAYS. Ugh. I need a spa day or a vibration cleanse or some such thing. I need to be renewed mentally and emotionally. How do I do that? Time for some research.

Avoiding the hard things...

I'm not quite ready to talk about the ordeal that was Spirit yet. So instead, I'm compiling my Xmas Wish List 2019.

Once again, I’m not expecting anything. Just putting this out into the universe.

This entire administration removed and replaced with sane people.

A CAR. Or an Rv and moped.

New underwear (size 7 or 8/L or XL)

New clothes since I shrunk (A gift certificate to Ross or something would work)

Bye Bye Under Eye concealer by It Cosmetics in Light

WATERPROOF 3D fiber mascara in black

Sex Kitten Eyeliner by Tarte in black

*A working printer with extra ink!* (or just ink for Chloe’s computer)

An in-home planetarium (to sleep under the pretend stars!)

Gym membership (must have pool and treadmills)

*A waffle iron !!*

A house with a yard and a garage (no more apartments!!). Covered big front porch for bonus points

Victoria's Secret Love Spell perfume (bonus points: in a gift set! :) )

ALL the Buffy comics that are out, SEASONS 8-12

ALL the Angel, Spike, Faith, et. al comics

Supernatural related merchandise

witchy stuff

novelty socks

pretty outfit for new years (2X-I think)

LED hula hoop (great exercise!)

A battery/power source for my CPAP so I can take it camping next summer!!

New pirate garb since I can’t seem to find mine anywhere.. :( (have hat, need the rest)

For more, see:

https://www.pinterest.com/reverendkate/wish-liststuff-i-want/ Pinterest Wish List

https://amzn.com/w/2AM6TI2GFAC73 Amazon Wish List

https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/wishlist/271831/list/1 This Is Why I’m Broke Wish List

*Stuff in bold is the more realistic wishes