Grief is heavy, like a weight on your chest. I feel like I am suffocating. I look ok on the outside, but I'm screaming and pounding on the walls of my mind. Not fair. Too young. Not real. Surreal.
Grief comes in waves. One minute you're fine, going about your business when suddenly you see or hear something that reminds you of them, and grief crashes over you.
My sister died May 7, 2022, of a major heart attack. I'm still processing. She knew it might happen. I guess I did too. But you always think you have more time, and then too suddenly, time runs out.
My brother Colen has the same heart condition. Genetic. So I'm going to have my heart checked out too. My mother should not outlive her children.
My youngest brother Noah just got engaged to an amazing, wonderful woman. A bright spot in the darkness. I am happy for him.
And I have reconnected with the man I realize now was the true love of my life. He has been amazing and supportive through everything.
And life must carry on. I need to figure out a way to honor my sister. She was an amazing woman. I will always miss and love her. But I must figure out how to get through this.
Grief is a part of life. But a really unfair part.
