I am guessing I didn't get the job at Blue Dog RV, they never called after my interview. I am freaking out because I was planning to give the landlord $200 this week towards my back rent and after paying the phone bill and buying groceries, I somehow only have $99 in my account. I can't keep going the way I'm going. I work my ass off at a job I hate so I can try and stay on top of bills so I can survive, and I'm failing at even that. I fear I need to be rescued, but I'm not even sure I know what that means.
Continuing this much later because my computer is dumb...and I'm lazy. Ugh.
My mom sent me a bunch of stuff about getting back into writing, but I really feel like I need to take classes to rehone my skills. Which may be impossible, because I went to PCC financial aid and I can't get financial aid until I "resolve" my current defaulted loans. SO I went to the loan website and they're claiming ALL my loans, as if I had never paid any of them off!! (I did, with wage garnishment in the late 90s/early 2000s). I paid off at least 2 that I know of for sure, possibly 3. But of course, any proof I have of that is buried in my storage unit somewhere. Why does it seem like the universe is working against me? Mother Theresa once said (or so I've heard) "God never gives you more than you can handle. I just wish sometimes he didn't trust me so much" or something to that effect. When can I catch a real break? I mean, sure, I catch little breaks here and there, but its like one baby step forward, three giant leaps back sometimes.
But some invisible man in the sky didn't do this. *I* did this. With poor decision making. I just don't know how to dig myself out. Again. Ugh, I need a vacation.
No, I need a new life. In an RV. With a dog. Exploring the country, then maybe the world. But I need a GOOD income that can travel. And substantial startup money. And universal health care. Just saying.
