GAH! I am so overwhelmed..

 The moving process, my health, still grieving my sister, trying to sort out my feelings about Mark (We talked... as usual things are not as cut and dried as they seem), and well, mostly the moving. I feel like it is holding up the rest of LIFE. I just want to be done with the moving AND with the storage units... I can't afford more than 1, I need to condense...but mostly I want to be BUG FREE already. Can I please have my action montage scene now? Good grief. And this chest catheter...UGH. If I didn't have it I would already be nice and clean and showered...instead, I have to wait for Chloe to wake up so she can help me prep for the ordeal that is showering with a chest catheter. GRRR. Then again, it is noon..maybe I should wake her.

Well damn

 So much for "holding out for a hero" (ha ha), or biding my time, or anything. 

I did an FB search to see if Mark had unblocked me since his custody case was over. I found a profile with his name, and his face, saying he's been dating someone named Erica or something since Jan 2023. I thought he had grown up and believed in honesty, as he claimed. Fell for it again, 30 years later. I feel so stupid thinking we actually had something meaningful. So, I'm done. I have to remember to stop sending him rental homes since I now hope he stays in Eugene. I am done trying to navigate the world of dating. I'll be an old spinster, fuck it. I have my family, and my bestie, and the kitties. Who needs anything else, especially in my condition.  :(

We still haven't fully moved yet, partly because of critters, mostly because the furnace at the new place is leaking gas so we can't stay there until they have fixed it, which could be this week or next week. Pretty annoyed I'm paying so much rent on an apartment that I can't live in though. 

At least I get to go pick out some new furniture today, thanks to flex funds through Medicaid. I'm thinking for sure of a dresser, a couch, and maybe a desk...after that, I'm not sure yet. I'm hoping to find a kitchen/microwave cart at least. 

I need to get some bookcases out of storage, I think. If my mom didn't snag them :) I did tell her she could use what she wanted that I wasn't using though. I just have to see what bookcases are left. (Well, and completely condense my 10x15 and 10x10 into one unit, either a 10x10 or a 10x12 at Holladay, or a 10x15 at Halsey. At least my mom said she would help with those, possibly Noah&Chloe too. Summer project, I think.

Things are looking up for my SSI to get approved, I talked to someone with the Oregon Dept of Disabilities Determination. I could see money as soon as a week, but I am not holding my breath. And that's just part one, Part 2 will take longer apparently. In the meantime, I applied for unemployment since I am not unemployed due to any fault of my own. I'm just worried about the job search requirements. Not exactly in a position to just take any job. We'll see what happens when I have my in person at the employment dept.

My fistula is healing nicely, according to the nurses at the clinic. Looks kinda scary to me, but I will assume they know what they're talking about. Not super excited to get stuck with needles 3 times a week, but it will be better than this damn catheter in my chest. Cannot WAIT to get this damn thing out.

That's it for now, I have to go pick out furniture. :)

New year, new WTF

 So a lot has happened over the last month, we're talking life-changing shit here. I was admitted to the hospital on 12/29/23 with kidney failure and was in the hospital until 1/10/24. Yeah, spent new years in a hospital bed, but at least Chloe was with me and we shared some sparkling cider as we rang in the new year. New year, whole new life.

I now have hemodialysis 3 times a week at a clinic (eventually working up to home dialysis), I have even more things I'm not allowed to eat, and I have a chest catheter until I get my fistula installed in my arm. The chest catheter makes showering a huge ordeal, so I only do it about once a week. They (the hospital) gave me these wipes to use the rest of the time.

We are also moving from the apartment we have lived in for the last almost 9 years because it is unsafe, what with the rats and everything. Landlord showed up today all aggro and slammed his fist on our door which triggered Chloe and she let him have it (verbally, duh), basically unleashing ALL our frustrations with him, to him. No more Ms. nice guy. He has failed as a landlord and is trying to say we owe $15,000.00??? HELL to the no. HE was the one who dropped the ball on the pandemic relief, which would have paid 80% of our past due rent, and THAT is on HIM. He has refused to do anything about the rats. Or ANY other maintenance. He barely even takes care of the property, like routine stuff. Elizabeth is going to help us prep for any potential court case. Waiting to hear back from her now.

So we are moving to The Astoria, where my mom lives. Thanks to Colen, and the people who donated to the gofundme that my mom set up. Of course, we thought we had more time, but with the landlord showing up today, telling us to move, and Chloe telling him we were already in the process, the time is now to get shit done.

Of course, with all the kidney stuff now I am not allowed to get my back surgery so I have to just suffer in pain. Ugh. Meaning moving is gunna be a bitch if I can't find more help. But we do what we need to do,

Ok, you're updated. I got shit to do.